I left my job as a Medical Social Worker (MSW) in Aug 2020.
The decision to leave after 15 months was a tough one, because I have pretty much grasped the general work and I’ve finally gotten used to the pace. In my short stint as an MSW, I have thought about leaving many times. The desire to leave were especially intense on days where I get high load and complex cases, highly anxious team that chase me hourly for d/c care plan, days where I had to OT/sacrifice my family time just to churn out my updates for the team, days where I skipped my lunch because crisis happens. Despite having to fight fire everyday, I somehow still manage to find meaning in what I do. Also, as I grow as a MSW, I find myself developing the speed and competency to handle cases and my time more effectively, This whole “finding meaning” thing is so important and it sustained me through the crazy hospital work.
My eventual decision to leave wasn’t easy because of many conflicting emotions and thoughts I had. I had a great sense of insecurity in me. I didn’t know if I would be able to secure another job. I had a hard time coming to terms with leaving a comfortable environment and having to learn in another new environment. However, I knew I had to leave to pursue what I wanted to delve deeper into – mental health related work. As a MSW, I also frequently hear community partners telling me that we’re unaware of what is happening on the ground. Hence, a large part of me was also curious as to how our interventions in the hospital affect the patient’s and families coping upon discharge from the hospital.
I left the hospital setting with a heavy heart, but also a heart full of gratitude (immensely thankful for my colleagues, patients, families and medical team for teaching me and for embracing me and the mistakes I made along the way). I also carried with me a bag full of medical/service knowledge as I embarked on a new journey in the community.
Day 1 of unemployment felt so empty for me. I woke up and intuitively reached out my phone to check the “Tigerconnect” app (an app used by almost all hospital staff for ease of communication), just to find that my account was deactivated. I can’t believe I’m typing this, but I sort of missed the incessant buzzing on my phone as message comes into my Tigerconnect. Throughout my day, everything felt so slow and it was uncomfortable for me to be just lying down on bed (instead of rushing around the hospital).
Slowly, I started regaining my usual pace and routine. It felt so good and liberating to be doing nothing in the one week after I left my job. Sadly, I can’t be idling around the house doing nothing, and so, I joined the community as a social worker working with clients/families with mental health/dementia condition.
I was excited to start my journey in the community. However, I had my reservation and fears as I’ve heard how the community social work is “dirty work”, unlike being in the hospital where we have a clean and sanitary environment. I’ve also heard about how the community is always strapped for resources, has poor management, lack of up-to-date documentations etc.
My 1st day of work in the community has confirmed all of the above as I witnessed how chaotic things are in the community. Very soon, I find myself getting frustrated with how disorganized cases are being documented & how cases are being managed/mis-managed. Being put in the community, I witnessed how cases are being passed down from the institutions – at times without consent and proper medical reports. Having seen how some MSWs put in every single AIC service/discharged completely w/o services, it also made me wonder if the MSWs have done a thorough enough assessments of the clients. I have ever received a referral where a client w stroke was being d/c from the NH back to home with husband with dementia, with completely no services put up. Being on the receiving end as a community worker, I looked back at my past experience as a MSW, I realized how I may have made similar mistakes unknowingly. The communication and team work between institution and community partners is something that was so important, yet neglected.
One of the good thing about being in the community is that there really is work-life balance. Most of the social workers are able to get off work on time and there isn’t that “adrenaline rush” to discharge/see clients. With the slower pace in community, there was more time for the staffs to interact and get to know each other.
Back in the hospital, I don’t remember hearing anyone speak of KPI, but it was something that was so important and frequently emphasized in the community. I vividly recall back to how one of my admin staff shared about how KPI works in the community and how “Good Social Workers do not need to chase after KPIs, they would have achieved KPIs without being told to do so”. It was stressful looking through the weekly stats of our caseload and our documentations. I understand the importance of hitting KPIs to get our funding = to help more clients. I understand the importance of actively looking for clients –> more funding.
Being new in my role as a community social worker, I have so much curiosities and experiences that I would want to document down, for my own reflection but haven’t got about doing so. In any case, I am just super grateful for my short stint as an MSW, which has really trained me up in my report writing and problem-solving skills. Being an MSW also helped equipped me with medical and knowledge about community services which were completely relevant in my current role.
I will continue to find time to document my experience, my struggle, my curiosity/questions. I hope that this can be a platform for me to journal, to reflect, make sense of my experience, to gain closure and maybe, to even derive new perspective!