Second Year, Second Semester.
This semester has been tough on me because of the modules I am taking and also because I don’t get to meet my friends as often as I usually do. Before I started university, I have always thought that university is the time of the life where people find their life partner, forge lifelong friendships, try out all the crazily insane things and most importantly, it is the peak of one’s life.
However, after being a student here myself, I realized that all these glamorous image that every university tries to portray is not true for everyone. Yes, while there may be people who find their life partner and live the time of their life here in university, the truth is that the bulk of the people here are just normal people living very ordinary lives. (eat-sleep-study) And, yes I am one of them.
The real world being a competitive place, university is no different. The gap between high school and university is quite drastic, I would say. The level of stress, compared to when in high school is much much more and over here, time waits for no man.Whether or not we like the culture here in school, one have to accept and adapt to it fast.
Behind that glitz and glitter is the superficiality of human and I feel that coming to university helps me see life clearer than before. During my first year, I started off as a freshie, hoping to make more friends. It was not long before I realize that it was a bad idea to make friends from the same course, because what fundamentally underlies a “friendship” is a “partnership”. It is a mutually beneficial relationship. People attempt to make friends with you not because they are genuinely interested to know you or your life, they simply do it because through this friendship, you can get your textbooks for cheaper price, get more information on courses and also sometimes, past year exam papers 😉 what a good deal, isn’t it? However, it is at the cost of the fundamental trust and faith of human relationship.
What exactly is a friendship or the purpose of human connection if not for school work? Honestly, this is quite depressing to think about. And I can pretty much expect the same to happen when I go out to the workforce in future.
Also, it is in university that you realize that you aren’t as good as you thought you were (in literally, everything). Before I joined this big community, I thought that I am quite a bright kid, average-looking, but with a fairly decent sense of humor. I am worth something and I feel proud of my achievements. Right here, right now, I don’t think so anymore. Being surrounded with a huge group of people that are just like me, with the same interest and passion as me, it is hard to appreciate myself and my uniqueness. I have no idea how am I different from the others. There are always people who can do things better than you do, even when you try your best, many times, things don’t turn out like how you would want it to be.
In fact, university life is a pretty stressful period. There are many who try their best, but only to be outdone by those who put in half of their effort. You come to realize that nothing in this world is fair.
It is also the time where you realize that passion – sometimes isn’t really practical for the real world. Dream in this place gets cold. One can claim an interest in an area, but if it is not something that the society is looking for, or if its not something that earns big bucks, it is rendered useless.
In all honesty, university has been depressing so far. (With the exception of some superhuman friends who could make my day). While it is quite extreme to say, but I would like to conclude that university is not for the weak-hearted, introverts and those who dare not try out new stuff (if not, you just simply conform with the rest of the 99%, sadly) .
Done ranting, bye.