Thursday

3 more days to the end of recess week and the start of exam week!

School has been really stressful the past few months, I never felt this stress from school (except when in JC of courseee) This is probably because I know that there is a need to do well so that I can keep my double major 😦

Though I didn’t do well for my small quizzes in the first few weeks, I feel that things will get better because I am coping better now! And this midterms is a good checkpoint for me to check on my level of understanding of the module! I will work hard 😤

Can’t wait to go back to watercolor painting once midterms end!!! Hehehehe

*Keeping myself positive till the end of this month 🙂 

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Against the world

Waking up feels like a recurring nightmare these days. 

I know I shouldnt feel this way, but everything feels like its against me. And everyone seems like they are standing on the other side of the world. Feels really awful to have such horrible thoughts because I am like the only one standing by myself right now. 

I wish I could disappear for a little while because I can no longer deal with everything in life. Just for a little while… 

Inexplicably tired

Have been feeling low and inexplicably tired since the start of the year. Haven’t really found the momentum to start working yet, for which, I don’t think I will ever find, but have to force myself into a systematic way of working just so I could keep up with life.

My tiredness is like a daily vicious cycle. I sleep late, wake up feeling tired, go on have a long day, feels more tired the next time. I am guessing its accumulated stress and suppressed emotions.

On a positive note, things sometimes do get better for a while, and for which I am truly thankful for.

Transition

It’s been 2 weeks since I moved into the new house. Yay and nay.

yay because I finally get to have my own bedroom, own toilet, so basically, my own space and privacy.

However, just like any other transition period, there will be stress.

Having used to previously lived in a normal apartment, there is so much more common space for family members to interact in a apartment compared to the semi-detached I am living in right now. Honestly, I feel that there isn’t exactly significantly lesser interaction right now, just that with lesser common space, there is less chance of seeing each other and therefore, giving off the isolating feels.

Will have to work something out for this.. hmms…

Count Your Blessings?

Tuesday Thoughts:

Just some random thoughts that came to me while I was on the way back home from school.

Count your blessings.

On social media, there have been many posts and articles talking about how people should be more appreciative of what they have and stop looking at what they do not have. Even on the television, especially when the TV Program is featuring developing country, there will always be comparisons made between the developed and the less developed. An e.g. would be one TV program talking about how the environment can be difficult for children in less developed countries to seek education. The host of such program will always end off by saying how ignorant we are to the things we are blessed with.

Somehow, I just felt really uncomfortable with how the host compares the developed and the less developed in such a practical manner without considering the context.

To me, counting your blessing should be a feeling of contentment and it is suppose to give off a sense of fulfillment. These days, counting your blessing is so loosely used to give off a sense of comfort (That I never really believed in ).

When someone tells me to count my blessing when I am having a bad day, its as though they are saying, your problem is nothing much or significant compared to people elsewhere.

I honestly do not see how it helps to undermine the difficult time one is facing and comparing it to someone from a completely different context. Maybe it works for some people, but definitely not for me…