What’s new about 2017?

Every single year, before a new year begins, there are bound to be a lot of hype and celebrations. What’s new right? Just like Christmas Day, Valentine’s Day, Chinese New Year, there will be a lot of celebrations going on. However, these celebrations update on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Whatsapp are starting to annoy me.

Nope, wait, please don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate festivals. In fact I really do love all these festivals because not only does it add life and vibrant to a dull city like Singapore, it also allows people to come together and bond over a meal or little activities.

However, it is how people perceive and celebrate the year that kind of annoys me a little.

On the day before New Year Day, just logged onto Facebook and you see many many many posting about their celebration and how thankful of how they are of 2016 and how they hope for better in 2017. This is quite weird to me actually. Shouldn’t people be thankful for whatever they have everyday? This is just my opinion, because every single day, I wake up feeling full of gratitude of whatever is given to me. You don’t actually have to wait till one day before a new year to feel the blessing you had all along right? I don’t really actually know what is the legit difference between 31 December 2016 and 1 January 2017; other than the fact that the Earth has revolved around the Sun for 365.5 days (which cannot be really felt??).

Also, once the clock strike 12 on the 1 Jan 2017, I suddenly receive an influx of New Year greetings. Most of my friends will be like Happy 2017, or hope that 2017 will be good to you… Honestly, I find it quite dumb. I am sorry and Yes, I do understand that my friends mean well in their message, but just think of it, a year will never change unless a person change. I get really annoyed when people wish for a good year, and not a good/better attitude to deal with a new year. The act of sending greeting through texts, other than adding on to the Festive feels, I have no idea what other meanings does the message signifies, because the conversation usually stops at the greeting.

It seems like the way most people celebrate Festivals these day is just a very plastic and superficial act. Social media has indeed made our lives easier, but perhaps, made many of our hearts more distant than ever.

 

 

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2016, it’s a wrap!

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Sunrise Picture taken in Oslo, Norway

Right here in Singapore, 2016 will come to an end in about 20 minutes.

Just as about everyone is out there celebrating the end of 2016 and welcoming the fresh start of 2017, here I am, typing my 2016 away. 🙂

As I enter my 20s, I feel that I learn a lot more every year. Getting into one of the best local university in 2015 provided me with the space and opportunity to learn more about myself and what I love.

Overall, 2016 haven’t been easy. (Okay, this sounds dumb, how can everything in a year be easy :/) I would have called it 2 full semester in NUS. Thankfully studying a psychology and social work haven’t really been so much of a chore since both are something I am interested in. 🙂 A lot of good things and bad things have happened. Some of the good things that have happened this year includes, being able to see my efforts in studies being paid off as my results improved, to be able to go to Norway for a family trip with my family, to be able to successfully do a double major and to be able to move to a more conducive environment and home very soon.

I am glad that there are also many new friends I have met this year, small events such as volunteering at nursing homes, hospice, really helps affirm me in what I wish to achieve in the medical field in future.My experiences with this healthcare services have shown me how some areas in the services are lacking and I will strive to make positive changes with my

Also through this year, I have also discovered more about the things that I should hold on to, and some things about myself or about others that I should let go of. I dislike labeling myself, however, I would like to consider myself an introvert. I do not go around socializing much because it drains a lot out of me. Therefore, I tend to stick to one or two really good friend. After 7 years or more of friendship with 2 of my great friends, after taking on differing life paths and experience, I start to see diverging paths between us. On one side this a good thing because it really shows that everyone is growing and developing their own personality and identity. However, to me, personally, it feels like we are splitting path. This is gonna sound really stupid but the delusional me actually thought that I am completely the same as my friends and that I can never ever find any other great people like them.

Having to see my friends starting to behave differently from how I would expect them to kind of scare me a little. It is only then I realized I am the only one still trapped in the past. So, this 2017, like what I have originally set out to achieve in 2016, I will continue to better manage my expectations and also work harder for myself.

With reference to my blog post on 2016 resolution, looking back at the post, I am glad and proud that I have managed to achieve about half of the list? hahah! With hope and Faith, I will continue to do my best in 2017 🙂

Sleepless night

After coming back from my Norway trip, it has been pretty hard for me to fall asleep. 😦

I spent quite some time scrolling through my facebook, Twitter, Instagram. I wonder if doing so makes me less sleepy? Because from these social media, I see smiles, life and everything nice. Then I start comparing myself with others, I start feeling bad about myself. I have tried to get out of social media, yet it feels like a toxic addiction I can never get rid of.

I turned and looked at myself. All I see is a pathetic looking soul staring into the lives of others. Blinded and oblivious to the blessings she has have. 

Being at peace and appreciating what I have has always been a challenge. 

When will I ever learn to love and embrace myself for all I have and what I do? 

#sleeplessnight 

First week of Dec 2016

Holiday is here and this means that I will be spending more time blogging! Yay!!

So far I have done pretty much during this first week of hols!

1 Dec 2016

Thursday! I went out with 2 of my very best friends! Sk and mao. Funny how we initially decided to eat in a cafe we previously worked in but changed our mind as soon as we reached there cos we were intimidated by our boss. I swear we are a bunch of super undecided and fickle minded peeps. So we decided to head off to Somerset to have our hot steamboat!! 

It was a super good meal because we finally found proper time and space to catch up on each other’s life. We actually spent 3 hours just eating and talking and I’m amazed haha! Good friends and good food sure makes life great!

We head off to shop at Orchard! This is the very first time all of us got and bought clothes, since we are super thrifty most of the time 🙂 feels good to be shopping together! Had lotsa fun taking photos at H&M and all the HTHT at Scape that I will never forget.

4 Dec 2016 (Sunday)

First time working at the Bounceoff Event at Bayfront. The event space is so huge and the games look so fun but there is no a single soul seen playing most of the time. The price for the games is too expensive imo. 1 free fall for $40! So many manpower, pretty lightings and resources have been allocated but just because of the price, little could afford to play and have fun. Hmm… working with sk and mao has been a great experience and its great bonding as of now.

5 Dec 2016

Day out with Charissa. Started off the day by meeting Charissa at my house! Damn LOL when she fell asleep on the floor!! Hahah. We head off to Marina Square after Charissa’s small nap! Had saizeriya! Nomz. 

Honestly it felt a little too quiet between the both of us, I guess we just didnt have enough common topic and interest to strike a conversation. This is how you know when you will make friends and when u will make your best friends. Having common interest is so impt. 

We went round shopping for a bit then head off back home! Im quite thankful that towards the end Charissa told me some of her personal issues because I assume that there is some kind of bonding and building of trust when we do that? 🙂

7 Dec 2016

Went to work at Bounceoff again today. Not a very good day. 😦 I felt grouchy most of the time because pms. The bore is real. Imagine sitting down for hours doing nothing. Geez. Evem though I was with sk and mao during work, we could hardly talk either because we were under constant supervision, the place was too noisy to strike a convo &/or we have ran out of topics to talk about 😂

Even though the day wasnt so eventful, I ended it with a great ride home with a nice driver, and to be back home with my sis and mum waiting for me even though its already 1am. I felt so loved ❤️ 

8 Dec 2016

Went out for picnic with wl, sk and mao. Was pretty excited for it at first. We picked a nice spot on the boardwalk from vivo to sentosa to have our picnic. It started off a litte awkward and things got more awkward later on. All 3 of them have been my friends for at least 7 years. Things were fine between me mao and sk but my friendship with wl seems to have drifted so much that there isnt really much I could do to salvage.

I ask myself what do I want in this friendship that I am building. And that if I even still want to have a friendship with this person I have known for 8 years. Though its had to come to terms with this but the inside of me says no. I dont see how the number of years of friendship should be positively related to the quality of friendship. 

Had a bit of conflict with mao after the trip but geez I am too lazy to elaborate! I shall do one big post next to summarise the issues that arise from this small outing and my thoughts on it 🙂

Overall, first week of dec has been great! 

Incoherence

Arghhhh my mind has been in a mess these few days. I find it hard to sit down and concentrate. With my last final paper coming up tomorrow, I am really in deep shit if I continue being like this. All along, I have problems concentrating but I am not sure why things are so bad these days? Maybe because I have been using my mobile phone a lot and got overstimulated? Meh… I am not very sure.

In short, I am finding it difficult to live in the present. More than half of the time, I find my thoughts either drifting towards the past, or thinking about the future. Since my thoughts are scattered and dispersed all over the place, I thought it might be good for me to collate all of them here. I have no idea how my brain works, to be able to contain so many things at once. It is so cluttered inside, not just thoughts, but also emotions?

Okay where should I begin…. Hmmm…

Let me just start with whatever that has occupied my thoughts most of the time to least of the time.

The first one would probably be the thought of moving to a new home. In just a month’s time, if everything goes smoothly, I would be moving into the new house. Things will be great, I assume, because then, I will get to have my own room and my own toilet, and not forgetting to mention! I will get my own balcony too!!! Instead of focusing my energy on my last psychology paper tomorrow, I am instead thinking about how to decorate my new room? Ommggg, I am really hopeless. I thought that a baby pink room would be nice, with a lacy curtains and having a nice little lamp, small little cactus for decoration. Either on the side or the front of my bed, there should be a soft cork board for me to put up my plans of the days, and also some motivational quotes. Ah…. All so dreamy.

Next, a lot of my thoughts are also about my upcoming trip to Europe – Norway!! yessss, I am very excited and I can’t stop thinking about it. Like what to wear, what to buy, and if I should do some research about the country etc.

However, the thoughts about the trip and the new house don’t really bother me. Instead I caught myself thinking about how do I show it to my friends.

Maybe through blogs? Hmm.. but I value my own privacy here and I don’t want my friends to read about other aspects of my life.

How about through Facebook then? Oh goshh, I do not wish to attract the attention of wrong people.

How about through twitter? I don’t think anyone can see it.

Oh then why not try snapchat? Hmm… its quite inconvenient to constantly be on the line when overseas right…

Omg.. see how incoherent and crazy my thoughts are. Crazy about flaunting, what a self-obsessed and boastful person I am.

ok i have ranted enough. back to work.

To myself: PLS LEAVE THESE THOUGHTS RIGHT HERE AND COME BACK TO COLLECT IT LATER.