The complex thought of a 19 Year old

Geez, it has really been a long time since I posted anything. ;/

Ever since I started university, I really had plenty of time to spend with myself and my conversation is 90% of the time, with myself. While many blame the flexible timetable for not being able to find good friends, I feel that the effort to find a good friend lies within oneself. Too bad I am not a very sociable person by nature 😛

Studying in a university made me feel lost most of the time. Ok, frankly speaking, I am very lost at this point of time not knowing what I was going for other than chasing the deadlines and the examination dates. Also, on my way to school, there is always an endless list of question which I posted to myself but never got an answer. Let me try listing them out and see if I can, perhaps, hopefully sort out my thoughts better and find an answer for myself.

When I am…

On the train: Why is everyone so engage in their own phones? Where did all the humans go? Will is the train taking so freaking slow? Are humans all that antisocial? Shit, I’m gonna be late (Always)

At the bus stop: When is the shuttle bus going to come? Why does everyone have the same fashion trend here? Is conformity really our style? Why do these people have so many friends? Why am I alone? Every now and then, I will also think of my old friends and really wish that they were here with me.

On the shuttle bus: Omg does this driver actually has a license? Ok, if this dude sitting nearer to the window is getting out, how should I make way since it’s so crowded? Oh man, why is no one pressing the bell? Why is everyone so gigantic in size? What is my purpose of squeezing with everyone here, why am I actually still studying? Will I really go out there and have an average pay of 3k?

During tutorials: When is this going to end? Why are there so many groupworks? What is the use of coming to this tutorial? Why are these people in my group not talking? Why is everyone so smart?

During Lecture: What the heck is this lecturer saying? Am I really just wasting my time in uni? Am I not making full use of the resources that is available to me? When is this going to end? Why is this dude beside me sleeping? Can I really get my major?

In the crowd: Why is everyone looking at me? Why are there so many couples around here? When is it exactly that I will find someone who appreciates me for who I am? What is Life?

Ahh, there is just so many questions running through my head everytime I head to school and I get back home feeling really drained. Some of the questions aren’t really necessary to pay too much attention to but I’m just prone to think a lot. Hopefully some day I’ll figure them all out. :/

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