Ughughughhhh Prelims will start tomorrow. I am not exactly stress but stressssss. UGHHHHhhhhh. So many things i have yet to revise. UGHHH. I am so used to failing for exams that i dont feel a shit anymore? But what i hate is that feeling where you sit in the exam hall with nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, to write while everyone around you are like writing away. UGHHHHH CAN I NOT DO THIS D:
In the meanwhile, i really can’t stop thinking about the past where i used to be so carefree. My friends and everything. I’m not having depression ok, but ughhh have to get back to studies, and i hopefully i can focus. Hopefully. UGH
In this fast paced world that we’re living in, it is inevitable that there are some things we have to give up in life to achieve another. Opportunity cost ya.
With alevels and prelims coming ahead, all my friends seems to be mugging all the way till late night? I am no different. I guess i am just feeling insecure? That constant reminder to oneself that everything you’ve done is never enough makes you wanna continue doing more. I know this is bad. This isn’t really how i want learning to be, but ironically, i don’t wanna change anything. I am too tired. Really.
Since JC life started, it wasn’t really ALLL that bad, but .. It wasn’t really all that smooth sailing either. Just within this short period of 2 years, i felt like i have learn the most throughout JC life compared to everything before that. Yes, indeed i have learnt a lot of new stuff. Sadly, in the process of learning and coping with my new JC life, it seems like everything before that didn’t exist. Those people whom i once called friends are no longer there.
Those memories and friendships once forged no longer exist and whatever once mattered to me don’t matter any more.
I guess it’s just part of life. Change. Like what everyone always say.